Nov
17

Brokencyde – The Best Of BC13 – Review

By Admin  //  Music Reviews  //  No Comments

Even though the name of this site is Bring On Mixed Reviews, and we like to keep a level head with reviews,  it’s noticeable at times that we will purposefully cover albums that are sure to be plenty awful with the expressed consent of ripping them a new musical asshole. In fact, BrokeNcyde is one of only a few bands that has been on our chopping block several times. Each time showing off how little musical maturity and technique they can exert and still be able to sell out shows to impressionable tweens. Covering their mediocrity had become a sort of tradition, but it wasn’t until I received their latest money grab, the “Best Of” (they have songs people would like to hear again? weird.) effort “The Best Of BC13,” with an included personal note, “Fuck You <3 – Brokencyde” that it finally cemented in my mind the correlation between the  bands music and a need to vomit bile……. from my ears.

Starting off, there should only be one or two reasons why you should ever release a “best of” record. One, you have a decade+ old effort (they don’t) that new listeners may not have heard or simply can’t get their hands on any more; two, is to release yourself from a crooked record label (they aren’t on one) contract that asks for “one more record.” Either way you should include more than one new song just so you don’t make the appearance that you are grabbing for people’s wallets/purses without offering something new. Enter the one new song on “The Best Of BC13“, the sloppy club abortion “Never Back Down” that plays like a bunch of Lil Waynes took some bath salts and began eating one another’s faces while spitting lines.

The rest of the songs are directly from the bands efforts “I’m Not A Fan But The Kids Like It,” “Guilty Pleasures,” “BC13,” and “Will Never Die,” like the classics (::cringe::)Freaxxx“  with all of its pathetic, rudimentary lyrics, and poorly dyed hair; as well as the patchwork copy job of LMFAO and clunky beat on “HoFoSho.” It’s all almost like the Insane Clown Posse stopped being redneck wiggers and decided to start a crunkcore act. The funniest part though is after you listen to the entire “The Best Of BC13,” which I did as a personal challenge of my pain endurance, I then noticed that there were 11 music videos attached on a separate DVD and then proceeded to pass out from the pain.

This is the worst kind of release; it’s a duplication of old crappy music. Like the male counterpart of The Millionaires, Brokencyde are riding the wave of puffed up crunk music that lazily sloshes on about booze and bitches, with a memorable line maybe once every song, all included with snore-inducing shouts to drown out our concentration like white noise. I wouldn’t even use this CD/DVD as a coaster set, afraid that my water and sodas would spontaneously turn into Ciroc and get me belligerently drunk and annoying. Listeners will out grow this music, and if they don’t…….well……. did you hear that new Dot Dot Curve, Bro? I thought not. [Staff]

Score: Shhiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Release Date: November 19th, 2012
Record Label: Break Silence Records
Genre: Crunkcore
RIYL: Blood On The Dance Floor, Millionaires, Breathe Carolina

Track Listing:
1. Never Back Down
2. Get Crunk
3. Teach Me How to Scream
4. Booty Call
5. Freaxxx
6. Scene Girlz
7. Da House Party
8. 40 Oz
9. Sex Toyz
10. Still the King!!!
11. Schitzo
12. Always Go Hard
13. Hofosho
14. Shake!
15. Bree Bree
16. Yellow Bus
17. Whoa!

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