Brokencyde – Will Never Die – Review

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Release Date: November 9th, 2010
Record Label: BreakSilence Records
Genre: Dancecore

The blatantly obnoxious crunkcore band Brokencyde has obviously been trolling several music-related websites and have seen what people have been commenting about the band. They then must have named their second full-length “Will Never Die” for all the posts that read something like, “These guys really should die in a fire…..quickly.” I won’t blame the posters of said material in this case because much like recent acts such as The Millionaires, LMAFO, and 3Oh!3, this new wave of disco-core is possible some of the most misguided and brain-less assembly of notes.

It’s almost humorous how comfortable Brokencyde has become with the fact that everyone hates them, proving it with “Epic Intro” where the band proclaims, “[We're] together again, just to piss you off” and “One band, one mission; to ruin the music industry as you know it, forever.” And with “Will Never Die,” they stumble ever further into the meaningless existence of dance-y club rap. The group has “expanded” their repertoire since we last met however; now including pointless skits (a shameless attempt to sound like their favorite successful rappers), as well as pure club tracks (ie “Always Go Hard,” “Da House Party,” 85% of this stool sample.) and what has to be a laughable attempt at covering “Teach Me How To Dougie” with “Teach Me How To Scream,” which is even funnier as Se7en‘s shrilled growls sound like Megatron sneezing and are about as threatening as a new born baby.

Of course to be thorough, inspection into the act’s lyrics was necessary because of how important poetry and lyricism is for hip hop and rap. As you guessed though, this is another reason why Brokencyde has been considered a musical plague; not only do most of their lyrics sound like they were written by a 4th grader looking to sound cool to an older brother, most of semi-acceptable word flow is just reworked sentences from already established radio songs from pop and hip hop artists. Plagiarism is just boring.

Now I must pause for a moment because saying this out loud makes me cringe. Ok, here it goes. Brokencyde‘s new album “Will Never Die” has some annoyingly-addictive dance-driven songs that make me reconsider it’s “worthless” title. Sure when they try to inject screamo shouts and guitars into their music they sound like leaky garbage, but when they aren’t working off of complete cliches, like the Lil Wayne-esque “Kama Sutra” or the Soulja Boy-inspired “Ride Slow” they can almost pull off an original song. One example is the low profile track “My Gurl” which just sounds like a really shitty Usher song (much better than what Brokencyde has ever put out). Even the stoner-friendly “High Timez” doesn’t embody complete trash, even if we have already heard lines like it from groups like Cypress Hill for years now.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, even when Brokencyde tries to make music that is ear-numbingly bland and unoriginal, statistics say that they will eventually (by accident) make a song that isn’t a complete waste. And on “Will Never Die” there is about one or two songs like that out of eighteen. Not a promising ratio, but at least it’s a step up from the goose egg of their last record. I might bounce my head to a Brokencyde track if I was drunk dancing with a bunch of sloppy bar chicks, but never on purpose. So until they can stop the synthetic white noise created by their cocaine driven dancecore and actually create music/lyrics/albums with substance that carry relatable words and not bullshit that preteens think will anger their parents, Brokencyde will still continue to release boring tracks that get panned by everyone above the age of 15. ~Staff

Score: 1/5

Track Listing:
1. Epic Intro
2. Dis Iz A Rager Dude
3. Always Go Hard
4. Shake!
5. Whatcha Want
6. T.M.H.T.S. Lesson 1 (Skit)
7. Teach Me How To Scream
8. Money Hungry Hoe
9. High Timez (Feat. Daddy X Of The Kottonmouth Kings)
10. Where We @? (Skit)
11. Da House Party
12. My Gurl
13. Kama Sutra
14. Ugly Bitch With A Mustache (Skit)
15. Goose Gogglez
16. U Ain’t Crunk
17. Ride Slow
18. Sunshine

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